Be, here, now - Ram Dass

The Power of Now

1/4/08 I have a delightful story to tell this morning. I’ve just read A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle. It is a masterful tale of the author and his wife’s first year in Provence. While reading it I felt the urge to cook an enormous meal and drown everything in olive oil! Since I've finished it, i now have a bit of a what-to-read-next dilemma. I traveled to Wa yesterday to use the internet and check the post office for my long awaited packages sent sometime last month. The volunteer’s in this area keep a locked box, at a local store, with the post office box key inside. It is also a place to exchange books and information. While digging around in the box, I came across The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. The title had been mentioned to me several times before I left America, so I grabbed it, happy that my what-to-read-next dilemma was solved. I returned home last night and sat here reading some of the things I’d downloaded while at the internet. Feeling so inspired by one website, I began to write. For several hours I sat absorbed in the articles and then allowed my words to pour forth from my heart. Today, when returning from work to take my lunch, I picked up my new book and began to read. I’m stunned by its message. It mirrors last night’s inspiration. I’m left breathless. Below I’ve included my writing from last night.


Waiting can bring such clarity.

1/3/08 My feelings of doubt and fear have subsided and an overwhelming sense of peace and belonging has crept in its place.

When I moved here, I inherited an old dusty stack of magazines. Copies of Newsweek (which I can’t stomach to read anymore), health magazines and a few New York Times. I’ve all but destroyed these periodicals, savoring every article again and again and finally cutting them into little pieces for my collages. It was in one of the health magazines that I came across an interview with Robert Gass. His career of traveling and inspiring individual’s spiritual growth appealed to me. I jotted down his website for later research and forgot about it.

While at the internet, in the midst of confusion about my decision to come here, I remembered his website and downloaded every page to sort through later. The site is a combination of the work of he and his wife, Judith Ansara Gass, both devoted beings living life to its most beautiful potential.

As I sit here, reading their writings, its as though every question that has coursed through my brain this month, was intercepted by the couple and answered for me. Judith’s article, “How Shall We Live?” has given new meaning to my coming here. I’m so stunned by the perfection of the universe providing exactly what I need when I need it, I actually had to stop reading the article and just sit here and breath and really absorb how perfect it all is. I just keep saying, thank you. Three days ago, I sat in this same chair in despair, confused and alone, unsure who to ask for guidance. The feelings were so powerful, I felt almost nauseous. This was New Year’s Day. Now I sit here and read her words, confirming everything about me being here.

She wrote about the earth being part of our bodies and that any part of the world that is hurting is a place I can help, even if I can’t see the healing occuring, that just my loving intention being present in that place will make a difference eventually. It’s the intention that matters.

She mentions this same theme that continues to come up in everything I read, that it is through our sense of separation that exists the source of much human suffering. Chuck Chamberland says it in A New Pair of Glasses, when he speaks of our problem being conscious separation and the answer being conscious unity. Ram Dass, Dan Millman, Lame Deer, every author I’ve read since I’ve arrived here mention it. The word written here when I arrive, Ubuntu, is this idea simplified.

I sit here in true and utter amazement at the perfection of everything. Before I left America, while I was still working with Hurricane survivors, I strongly wished for more time to read, write and collage. I wished for this through my entire being. I could see a life where I had freedom to create. I never imagined while applying for this, that it would be here that this dream would manifest itself. As a volunteer, we have to be available to everyone 24 hours a day but work is slow here. Of course at first, I thought I’d be an exception and just create my own schedule, no sitting around, etc. I wonder how many other volunteers thought that as well. Our normal American frenzy of rushing just doesn’t happen here. There’s no place to rush to because once you arrive, you’ll just end up sitting under a tree waiting for the others to show up. Much of my time here is spent waiting. I don’t mind, I actually plan for it and take that time to read and write. No one really ever knows what time it is, since most people don’t wear watches. I now have learned tell what time it is in the evening by the shadows in my living room. 4 pm is the most glorious time when the light stretches across the yellow wall and the beams of light stream in from both sides and meet in the middle, making a large burst on the wall, resulting in a sort of amazing sun-like image. Sort of like an interior sunset.

I’ve realized through all of this: whatever life your living is from your own dreaming, wishing, hoping, fears, doubts. Is it the life you want to be in? If you aren’t happy, why are you creating a life that makes you unhappy? I realize that we can all have any life we want, just dream it, and it will come to you, trust me. The catch is, to not grab hold of a lesser dream thinking yours isn’t coming. Dream and be patient, drop any fears and doubt and prepare for delight. It helps to know what you want too and that takes quiet time. Without some clarity and mindfulness, we can wander around lost for a long long time trying out this path and that path. This has its purpose as well, however, most people don’t know that their happiness is just a wish away. In the end, its all up to what you want. Even the most impoverished people in the world have created their own lives. Maybe my greatest purpose here is to help these people dream greater dreams. The rest will manifest itself.

One of the greatest things I’ve realized here is that every path is honorable. I get a lot of emails about what a great job this whole thing is and how everyone is so proud but in reality, this is no better than any other path, as long as its your heart’s path. My little sister is such a beautiful mother to two precious babies and three step children. Being a mom is her heart’s desire and my goodness, she’s amazing at it.

My mom loves animals and now that she’s retired, her dream is to own a pet day care. Her passion for this dream has made the process relatively smooth. My dad’s a biker. When I was a little girl, he got rid of his motorcycle to save his family after an ultimatum came to chose between the motorcycle or us. 25 years later, he purchased a another Harley and I’ve never seen him more at peace. These days, when he isn’t working, he’s riding and it suits him so well.

So often we become used to turmoil and think that we have no choice about our situation. I thought that way for a long time too. I can remember a boyfriend so patiently explaining to me that I always have a choice in everything, and though I may not like the consequences, I certainly have a choice. He said this just after I tried to convince him I had no control over canceling our plans. He’s an attorney now and he certainly won that day. Its true, we are not at the mercy of anything except our own positive or negative thoughts.

Paulo Coehlo calls it a personal legend, my friend Helen calls it the heart’s desire. Both describe the yearning that resonates within us that we don’t always understand. To ignore it only increases our unhappiness. This is why the quiet time is necessary. It is in this space that the inner voice can be heard. I’ve been led to find my heart’s desire and I’ve led women there as well. I’m planning to take a few female volunteers through the process this spring. I must pass on the gifts that are given to me. Part of my legend is uniting women, uncovering the truth and fostering spiritual growth. Basically, to be a light that love can pass through. I don’t know why this is my legend, it just is. I began to feel most comfortable on this path after sobering up when I was 15. The stillness came much later. It took a long time for me to stop wanting to jump out of my own skin. A feeling I’d been plagued with since birth. I wandered around on this path blind to an actual direction for quite a few years. With the quiet came the strength to let go and follow my dreams. This led to more quiet and deeper clarity, which led to a better idea of my heart’s desire. Now I wake unsure if this life is real, for it seems just like a dream.