13 years of sobriety

1/2/08 Today I am celebrating 13 years of sobriety and almost 3 years without cigarettes. I have a 13 year chip that my sponsor gave me before I left America. I am as far away from a meeting as I could possibly be in this country. The only meetings I’ve heard of are exactly diagonal from me on the other end of Ghana. As much as I’d love to attend one, its fine that I can not. I didn’t expect the luxury of being able to attend any meetings while here and I know I’ll get a chance to return to them once I’m home. My life today is a far cry from the terrified teenager I was, hoping to die rather than give up drinking. Its even a far cry from only a few years ago. I suppose a few from now, I’ll be saying the same thing. I can honestly say every year gets better and better.

I’ve been feeling bits of doubt and frustration, unsure of my purpose here. On New Year’s Day, I stayed home, put on some music, brewed a pot of tea and sat down and wrote, collaged, drew, painted, and read. I allowed the creativity in me to flow naturally and today I woke up with a new sense of enthusiasm about my work here. Its amazing to me that simple things like meditation and creativity can turn my mood and perception around so easily.

Today has turned out to be just like every other day, pretty amazing. I’m feeling like my presence here is warranted and has purpose.