National Lampoon's Monkey Sanctuary

Ok, so I set out one Sunday with a group of 6 to visit this monkey sanctuary. We all met at the big station in Techiman and began bargaining for a ride. Now, taxis here are pretty small, 4 door hatchbacks. The hatch is called the boot and its big enough to hold some bags, maybe a speaker and if your lucky, a small passenger, provided they sit with their legs extended and there shoulders sideways, so the door closes. Well, we’re having trouble convincing a driver to take us all in one taxi and we can’t get a good price and you really must picture 6 Americans and nearly 15 Ghanaian taxi drivers, yelling, each wanting only to explain. I just stood there watching, shaking my head wondering how I got here again. Finally, a young guy agreed to take us all the way there, no stopping and exchanging, hooray, we all get in, me in the boot, wow its little back there and not cushioned, but hey he’s bringing us, So, let’s go! Its looking good, the sun is starting to come out, everyone’s smiling.
Then we turn off the pavement, hmmm, I realize, this ride is going to be pretty painful sitting here in the boot, but hey, no big deal, I can hang, we’re in Ghana, just go with it right? Oh, what’s that, a tree has fallen in the middle of the bush path we’re driving on, oh and its going to take all day to hand saw it, wow, maybe someone’s trying to tell us something. Seems as though we should reconsider, what do you think guys? Oh, no no no, the taxi driver, who looks to be about 17, will find a way around. Ok, just laugh Erica, just laugh. So we turn around and take a different bush path, nearly drive into a large, randomly placed concrete culvert but miraculously, we do manage to somehow bypass the tree and again, we’re in route. The road is terrible and I’m bouncing around in the boot with an enormous speaker bumping into me, waving at every Ghanaian that we drive past, smiling as big as I can just to see how many will wave back and would you believe, each and every single one waved back, almost surprised to see me sitting back there. I couldn’t stop laughing, it went like this. Drive pass Ghanaian pedestrian, smile and wave until they look at me, witness their surprise upon noticing that there’s a white woman in the boot waving and smiling and then glee would over take them and they’d be smiling and waving as well. It was a great way to make the ride bearable.
At some point on this ride, we all begin to sweat something equivalent to buckets of perspiration and it is at this time we realize, that the windows do not roll down. It is sooo hot in a little hatchback carrying 6 Americans and 1 Ghanaian at 10 am in West Africa with the sun beating down onto us through the windows. It becomes so hot that for part of this oh-so-bumpy ride, we actually begin to hold the doors open while moving just to get a little air flow. We drive for an hour and a half and surprisingly find the monkey sanctuary after stopping 7 times, once in the bush to ask small children who just looked at us and pointed down the road ( I guess they get a lot of lost white people looking for this place, it is listed on Lonely Planet Ghana). So we arrive and find out its 4 bucks to get in (that’s two days pay and we’ve just paid one day’s pay to get there, and another will be paid to get home, provided we can convince the driver to stay and wait for us since we realize we’ve seen no other vehicles coming or going since we set out on this path and we might possibly be stranded out in the bush with no phones and no way home). Yes! He will stay and wait for us, provided we pay extra. So, we pay everyone and the guide shows up. We set out and walk into the forest, stopping to notice interesting trees and plants and oh what ‘s this, a monkey graveyard, complete with painted wooden markers and all. Suddenly, we’re told to look up and far off in the distant tree tops, I can see four monkeys sitting in the trees. Hmmm, I hope we can get a little closer, even the telephoto lens I brought today isn’t going to get those guys. Well, we get a bit closer at one point, but all in all, we walked the distance of a New York City block and then all of sudden the guide was mumbling something and waved good-bye. That was it, one hour, far away monkeys and 8 dollars later and we’re back at the taxi and it won’t start. We all put down our bags and push it on to higher ground, then the driver gets in and we begin pushing, it takes off and starts! Then it dies when he stops to let us in. Ok, lets try again. This time, everyone in the car, and the driver pushes and jumps in as it goes down the hill… Yes! Its running, he’s in, we’re in, and we’re on our way. Well, since he’s so nervous the car might stop, he doesn’t really go into 1st gear, so we are zooming along on this bumpy bumpy bumpy bush path, not slowing down, continuously bottoming out and at one point, I thought we blew out the tires we hit the ground so hard. I am bouncing around in the boot so much and that I can’t even see the back window, much less wave at anyone. This time, however, the windows are miraculously down, hooray! We drive another hour and half back to the station, with our brains rattled senselessly. When we arrive we are covered, head to toe, in red dust. We get out looking like we were drug behind the car rather than being passengers. All the Ghanaians are staring at us. (they are big on cleanliness). One nice man begins wiping me down with a rag but he starts with my rear and it surprises me so much that I yell before turning around to see a little elderly man standing behind me with a look of terror and fear because he thought he was helping me. (I felt terrible, but so confused and again, just stood there shaking my head trying to make sense of the whole trip.) All we needed was Chevy Chase and a dead granny and we’d be selling this story. I am posting the pictures.