Writings along the day…I have arrived

10/07/07 Sunday,
(from my notebook) We have come to the caves again. It is raining, so we walked hurriedly, through the bush, to arrive here and now have sought refuge in the cave. It is so beautiful. The sounds, the scent, the energy. Again, I think I am so lucky to be here. This place is alive. Its heartbeat is loud, strong, warm, welcoming…

(seen, written on a wall) Let your life lightly dance on the edges of time like dew on the tip of a leaf.

10/10/07 Wednesday,
What I miss the most today:
1. Telling people that I love them. There’s not really anyone here for me to express that to, even though I do love everyone here. I’m not in a position to go around saying it, so I try to convey it to everyone in other ways. Through smiles, compassion, tender ears. But still, there’s something missing. I realize that saying I love you is something I’ve always done with my family and friends. Several times a day, I would tell them how much I love them. I miss expressing that emotion.

2. Privacy. I never realized how much I took my privacy for granted. In America, you can sit anonymously at a coffee shop, surrounded by people but completely withdrawn. Here, I am everyone’s property. Often, children will touch you in passing to see if you feel the same. This lack of privacy has good and bad points. Sometimes, it is really cool because you are NEVER alone, no matter where you go. But at the same time, you are NEVER alone, no matter where you go.

3. My backyard swing. I know, I know, you are thinking that it will still be there waiting for me to return to it, but I’ve been missing it since the day I moved (June 1.) There’s something about the way my trees canopy over the yard and I had many birds that sang to me from those branches every evening while I lay on the swing. Oh my, I can’t even bear to write more about it, for I am causing myself too much heart ache tonight.

Ok, so to set this in balance and keep sane, I will list three things that I can only experience here in Ghana:
1. Fufu pounding. Every evening, around the same time, people begin to pound fufu for the evening meal. They use these long posts about 5 feet tall, which is actually a particular tree trunk, cut and carved into shape. They take cassava and plantains and pound it into dough. Its pounded so hard you can feel the vibrations through the earth. Some evenings, I close my eyes and imagine this is the heartbeat of a nation.

2. The morning choir at the church next to my house. There is a 4 am church service held by lantern light, next to my home. The choir sings each morning and I wake to this and its so beautiful. Imagine waking to beautiful singing in a foreign language each day. I smile and say Thank You. One day, I will get the courage to attend the service.

3. Tom Brown porridge. It’s a peanuty porridge that I eat for breakfast and its so yummy and warm and my host mother serves it to me with fresh fruit and bread. I don’t know where the name came from, but this is what we call it. (A funny thing about my meals is that they are served in a covered dish and so what ever is inside is a surprise. Sometimes I feel like a kid in line at the school cafeteria overcome by hunger and curiosity about what awaits my expectant taste buds!)

10/11/07 Thursday,
Today marked a turning point of sorts. Several pleasantly unexpected things occurred over the course of my day…

This morning, as I ate breakfast, I opened to a story I’ve read many times called, Join the Tribe, written by an anonymous Native American man using broken English since it is the first story he’s ever written. As I read the opening lines, tears poured from my eyes so suddenly, I was almost shocked by their presence. Its as though the story was this lost taste of home that I didn’t know was missing. I sobbed, crinkled face and snotty nose, just sat in the chair in front of my breakfast and sobbed. I sat for a moment, read on and sobbed a bit more. Then, as quickly as they came, the tears disappeared and I felt renewed. I felt right. The release of emotions was overdue.

Then, while at our medical presentation, I sat with everyone and laughed those deep gut level laughs that I love so much but had not yet felt here in Ghana. I laughed from deep within, bellowing out and gasping for breath. The kind of laugh that leaves you tired afterward. I laughed this way several times and I felt like I fit in my skin and that Erica, the woman I enjoy being, finally arrived in Ghana today. I felt like myself today and I realized that at 27 years old, I really like being me.

Lastly, tonight when I returned home, feeling at peace, I sat outside with my host family. (After my oldest host brother left for teacher training this week, the only English speaking person left is my younger host brother, whom I’ve realized doesn’t understand most of what I am asking and always responds with yes! That was quite a disappointing realization, to say the least.) So, anyway, I arrived home and sat with them as they prepared the evening meal. I ate outside on the porch, instead of in my room and I ate T. Zed, a traditional Ghanaian dish. Then I joined them after dinner and laughed even though I didn’t know what we were talking about. I laughed because I was so glad to be sitting there with them. Then I sang them a song that I learned in my language class and we all laughed together and this time I knew why we were laughing. As we were laughing, I looked up at the sky and saw the most beautiful sunset. I thought, Thank You, what a perfectly beautiful day. Then, I carried my own water to bathe tonight! What a day.