1.16.2009

Sweat Lodge

Today I’ve come to the sweat lodge once again to cleanse, release, and heal the Divine vessel that I inhabit. The day is quiet and peaceful. The most excitement I can sense is trapped within me at the thought of spending hours around the fire in preparation for tonight’s ceremony.
Nolan, Tatanka (Buffalo), has given me the job of collecting the 32 rocks that will be used tonight in the sweat lodge. This task is an honor and I am immensely appreciative for the experience.
I mindfully walk over to the pile of rocks we select from each month, brought down to the lodge from the South Dakota Badlands. As I walk, I hum a mantra, Om mani padme hung, to calm myself and slow my anxious breath. I stand over the pile and ask for guidance, eyeing the rocks, unsure of where to begin. I am to select one rock at a time, touch the rock, say a prayer and then carefully place it in the center of the fire that Nolan has prepared. The fire is now built up to a great height, almost too great for me to reach the center.
My eyes return to the pile, I notice one rock seems to stand out, almost as though it is glowing and beckoning me to choose it first. I acknowledge this and chuckle to myself, thinking, Ok, so this is how it’s going to go. I pick up the rock, it’s the correct one. I turn it over in my hand, thanking Mother Earth for giving part of herself to us today. I thank the rock for lasting long enough to become the strong stone it is and for offering itself. I ask it to absorb plenty of heat in the fire so that our bodies may be totally cleansed and healed later. I walk over to the fire, touch the stone to my chest, release it into the center of the flames, and return to the pile of rocks. I continue to scan, select, thank, and release. My movements are slow, precise, and mindful. With each selection, I become aware of the history contained in these ancient stones. One rock reminds me that all of our ancestor’s remains eventually come to rest here, in this form. One rock smells of fresh earth and has tiny green moss growing on it. I inhale its fresh sent, name it food rock, thank the earth for feeding all of humanity today and place it in the fire. At one point, while scanning the pile, I notice the face of an Eagle. Eagle medicine is strong medicine, symbolizing protection and connection to Great Spirit. I thank the Eagle and I hold the rock, touched by the powerful healing that I know is in store for tonight’s sweat. When I release the rock, I know All is well.
Many rocks that I select contain images of the Eagle, either in profile or in flight, as a soaring Eagle. I do not come to understand the importance of the Eagle’s presence until much later in the day.
One rock contains the image of a sunset, as though it were painted right onto the very face of the stone with watercolor paint. Another rock sheds tears when I pick it up. The tears run down my fingers and return to the puddle beneath. One rock is broken and I rub the broken place, acknowledging its missing piece and when I return to the pile, I find the missing piece and select it as well.
The final rock I choose is one I’ve looked at many times but it isn’t until the final selection that I see the image it contains. In it I see the plains, from above, as an Eagle would in flight. I see the great expanse of land stretched out beneath and where the sun’s loving kiss is turning the dirt red and gold. It’s the most beautiful vision of the 32 and I lift it with great reverence and place it on top of the others in the fire.
I sit by the fire and listen to the flute playing a few feet away. I am sitting and reflecting and my thoughts rest on Maria. Her body is ill now and she is preparing to enter the next phase of life. She is young and will be saying farewell to her family, her husband and children.
Thirty miles from here, a music benefit is being held, this very day, to assist Maria and her family with the mounting medical bills.
Once, I few years ago, I watched while Maria told a story to a room full of people. As she spoke, I saw my own face in hers, only for a moment and then it was gone. I later met her again during a weekend meditation teaching and again felt the overwhelming connection to her.
Tonight, the ceremony will be in honor of Maria. The sweat will fall from me, back into Mother Earth, as a celebration for this magnificent soul I have been lucky enough to encounter. The cleansing and healing that takes place will be my gift to her, my homage to her beautiful being.

1.02.2009

A new year...

Today I am celebrating 14 years of sobriety.
As I look over the last 12 months, I’m amazed at the transformation that has taken place in my life. This month has been largely devoted to preparing for a new Self. I spent the remaining 10 days of December fasting healthandlight.com/TheMasterCleanse.pdf to allow for a healthy rejuvenation of my body, cells, tissue, and blood. I opted to fast through the holiday feasts where I often consume too much and instead, allowed my body to rest.
I feel great today as a result of the fast and the renewal that is taking shape within me.
I have a few personal goals for this year:
Learn to sew.
Read 25 books from the list of 100 Must Read Books: The Essential Man’s Library (http://artofmanliness.com/2008/05/14/100-must-read-books-the-essential-mans-library/)
Travel down the West Coast by train
Publish a book
Experiment and gain experience with set design for theatre
Be honest
Remain a vegetarian
Do Yoga daily
Continue to peacefully and easily receive the gifts that are continuously gracing my life from the ever-abundant Universe.
Continue to pass on my gifts, talent, and unconditional love to all beings everywhere.

Namaste.